1989 Dodge Dakota Shelby No Reserve

For your consideration is the worst mistake you can ever make.

Before continue reading I suggest you look to buy something more useful like Dry Paint or Used Q tips.

From the day this truck left the production line it changed more hands than Pamela Anderson's Breasts.

The dashboard has more cracks than Tommy Lee Jones' face.

The seats look like Rosanne was locked inside for a week with no food.

The engine leaks more oil than the Exxon-Valdez.

The tires are so worn you can see the air inside.

The suspension sounds like it has Parkinson's.

The brake rotors are so worn that light can pass through.

You can count on this truck to get you to your destination like you can count on Bernie Madoff.

Anyone placing a bid here must’ve just finished a 6-Pack on an empty stomach guaranteeing himself the hangover of a lifetime.

Prior owner removed the smog pump and the AC compressor, Mickey Moused the belts routing and Donald Ducktaped practically every wire under the hood.

Seeing this truck in your garage will be as good as seeing at the dinner table your mother in law. Every evening.

Trades welcome, just tell me wha'cha got.I’ll consider anything useful like a roll of toilet paper, ripe banana or a clean pair of socks. Size 10.

It does run, drive, shifts, stops and currently registered. If you’re local you can drive it home but if you plan to drive it cross country you should cut down on whatever you’re smoking.

What's good? The truck's value will double by simply filling up the gas tank, no one will dare to cut you off, tailgate or flip you on the highway and you can park it in Brooklyn unlocked with the keys left on the seat. It'll be there when you get back.

And if after all that you’re still contemplating of buying it, please consider seeking medical advice.